I know what you are probably thinking – of course not, everybody poops so no biggie there. And yes Melania Trump said that having separate bathrooms is the key to a successful relationship, but what does she know? Besides more than half of America hates on the woman simply because of her husbands controversial ethics and it really does not help that she is an intellectually kick-ass woman who speaks more than languages than the combined population that hates on her and she is also a model. DETAILS.
But no, I am not talking about THAT kind of poop.
I am talking about the negativity that comes with being in a relationship in the 2000s. All the games, all the hate and all of the rules.
The rules that say you are no longer allowed to show somebody that you care or are worried if they do not text you back right away – because that makes you seem easy, clingy or desperate.
The rules that say that even if you are madly in love with somebody and you know they are the one, you can’t say it, and you bet your ass that if you are out with the boys you have to play the game; you have to be a douchebag and act like you could care LESS about your significant other because caring and showing your emotions is NOT COOL. So what do you do? You play the game, talk the talk and end up hurting who you care about the most, even when you literally could care less about the randoms at the bar.
The rules that make it so that you can no longer work towards what you want to get out of a relationship, because that is not cool
When we were younger and wanted something, we would work for it. If we wanted a game and our parents wouldn’t get it for us, we would do chores and hustle to get some extra bucks saved so we could get what we wanted. Why is it that as adults we don’t apply the same work ethic we learned as kids to such a fundamental part of our happiness?
Why do we allow our friends to take us down the toilet with them?
We all have that friend. The one who hates his life because he messed up so many times through the early stages of building his existing relationship, so much that it is flawed to the core and instead of doing something to fix it all they do is complain about how horrible their significant other is and how they ruin their life. But that doesn’t stop there, because unhappy people don’t like to be unhappy alone, so they do everything they can to bring you down the rabbit hole with them.
They make you wonder if your relationship really is as good as you think it is and make you wonder if you are missing out on something or someone else. They make you wonder if your time would be better served drinking your nights away and hooking up with someone new every night because that is “the dream” and what you sacrifice by being a relationship.
And then there is Tick Tock Nancy.
Tick Tock Nancy makes you question the integrity of your partner and whether or not they even love you as much as you think they do simply based on where your relationship stands on the universal relationship timeline. Because as she explain to you, it is scientifically proven that if you are not engaged, married, living together, with kids, meeting the parents, traveling together etc by the time you have been dating for X amount of time THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU.
The question is, when do you say enough is enough?
If you ready to fully invest yourself into your relationship, whether you have one already or if you are looking to dive into your next one with direction and less bull, I have included below a couple of tips to get you on track.v
1. Make the voice inside of your head louder
If you want something go for it. Do not be afraid of showing who you are and what you are capable of to your partner. Relationships are built on trust and transparency not on what the world says you should do
2. Do things “just because”
No, randomly buying flowers or surprising your boyfriend with his favorite candy doesn’t make you a loser. It shows the other person that you really care about them
3. Speak up
It doesn’t matter how beautiful something might be, even if it lives in a box full of mirrors, if you tell it everyday it is ugly, it will grow to think it is ugly. It might not seem like a big deal, but allowing yourself to get caught up in the negativity your friends might be associating with relationships is going to get to you eventually. Speak up and let your friends know that you don’t think their negativity is cool and if you are a good enough friend to them, help them to turn things around and get to a happy place.
4. Do not be afraid to take leaps of faith
Live in the moment and take your best friend for the ride. Whether it is taking the big leap and getting down on one knee or actually jumping off a plane together. Be confident and believe in your relationship. Do what makes you happy and do what you know will make your partner even happier. Be 100% in and let life show you what it has in store for.